Multiple Fears We Face in Conflict
What prevents us from addressing conflict head on? All too often we really talk ourselves out of useful dialogue because we have several fears. You will find in this article an extensive list of fears that prevent us from moving on. Which ones do you have? How real are they?
You may fear that the other person will react negatively and jeopardize your relationship
You may feel you do not have what it takes to respond appropriately
You feel you do not have the knowledge to respond in a constructive way
You don’t know where to start
You are afraid you will not respond to anger adequately and the situation will escalate
You may feel that there is some truth in the other’s criticism, so your response is one of self-criticism
You fear of being taken advantage of because the other person is well trained in conflict management or negotiations
Many will fear that they will hurt the other person if they lose control and it will be next to impossible to rebuild the relationship
You simply have low confidence in your abilities to react in a constructive manner
You fear you won’t know what to do or completely freeze in the face of adversity
You imagine the worst if you don’t succeed in re-establishing the relationship
You don’t know how to have difficult conversations
You fear you will be unable to control your emotions and face negative consequences
There are countless fears people live with and most often it takes only a little courage, knowledge, and practice to surmount those.
Conflict is mostly driven by unfulfilled needs and interests and all the fears and emotions we have. My preferred description of FEAR is Face Everything and Rise.
In my practice, I accompany clients through different stages that include; learning about conflict and demystifying it, learning much more about how they react in conflict, building their own methodology to manage conflict, preparing for crucial confrontations. My aim is to help my clients to feel much more comfortable to address conflict and react appropriately.
The better prepared you feel the more effective you will be in establishing a new dialogue.
Jean-Paul Gagnon, ACC, CHRP is a professional coach, certified as CINERGY Conflict Management Coach. He is also a trained practitioner in conflict resolution. He is a mediator in the workplace and a volunteer community mediator. He has over 35 years of experience in Human Resource Management.
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