12 Principles That Help Us Understand and Accept Conflict
It is literally impossible to go through life without conflict. It is a normal part of life and any type of relationship. We can’t be expected to agree on everything, all the time. We are all different and we change depending on circumstances we face and our environment. Here are 12 principles that help us understand conflict.
Conflict arises from differences. It occurs whenever people disagree over values, motivations, perceptions, ideas, desires, interests and needs.
Conflict arises from different needs and these needs change over time.
A conflict is more than a disagreement. It is often a situation in which one or both parties perceive a threat, real or not.
Conflict continues to fester when not addressed. It rarely resolves itself. Because it involves perceived threats it stays with us until we gather the courage to face and resolve it.
Conflict often escalates. The more we think about it, describe the situation to others, listen to other people’s opinion, our story changes and the conflict grows in our mind.
You simply cannot escape conflict.
The root of most conflicts is either poor communication or the inability to control one’s emotions.
Conflict in the workplace is unavoidable yet it is a normal part of any social and organizational setting.
We respond to conflict based on our perceptions of a situation. Our perceptions are influenced by life experiences, culture, values and beliefs.
Conflicts often trigger strong emotions. You need to be comfortable with your emotions to be able to address conflict.
Conflicts always offer opportunities for learning and personal growth.
Conflicts arise from differing needs and these needs change over time.
These principles reflect our reality. Once we accept them, we can find the means and energy to address them and rebuild the relationships that so important for our well-being.
Jean-Paul Gagnon, ACC, CHRP is a professional coach, certified as CINERGY Conflict Management Coach. He is also a trained practitioner in conflict resolution. He is a mediator in the workplace and a volunteer community mediator. He has over 35 years of experience in Human Resource Management.
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